For the celebrity fanatic and maniac. For the stalker in all of us.

Once in a while I admit, I seem to lose myself. I depress in the world and its ever increasing stupidity – with its lack of compassion – and I become overwhelmed with an utter loss of despair as I view the reckless, and insane acts of inhumanity that persist. What seems to solidify this feeling, is Hollywood in all of its glorious wonder. It never ceases to amaze me, how living in the world that appears before our very eyes day in and out, how we can be so blind. I am not saying I am immune to the sparkle, the so called “glamorous” lifestyle that is the very epitome of the American lifestyle. I too am the occasional victim of the latest trends, or the best new thing that pops out of multi million dollar corporations with a knack for knowing that I would “love” to walk around smelling like a couture goddess. With that said, there are also moments where I become aware of myself and my surroundings, and open my eyes to the stupidity of it all. What did it for me this time, was the very sorry state (or very well staged), public downfall of Britney Spears. Yes. I can hear what you are thinking. Or wait. Maybe those are my thoughts. Who would ever admit such a thing, based on such a person as Ms. Spears? I’m not quite sure of that answer, but here are my thoughts (since this is my blog).

All it takes these days to make money as a celebrity, is to act or sing in a debut film or album, and to hit it big at least once, whether holding amazing talents in said “careers”. I am not talking about the greats, I am not talking about anything even remotely similar to the likes of Rostropovich, or Bocelli, or even the uniquely talented works of Alicia Keys. I am talking about the Lindsay Lohans, and Britney Spears of the world. They are the driving force in my world, they inspire me to make it a better place. They are the ones that sadden me to a level of depression that pushes me to (want) to become so much more than ever was thought of me. I will not waste my life as they have (so far). I will make a difference; I will fight for humanity. Of course, I don’t argue that I am one to judge whether they have lived a wasteful life – who am I to judge others? These are merely my thoughts.

Now, words are great but what good will they be if no action is taken to reinforce them? My existence will be just as seemingly pointless as Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan if I fall into the hole of inaction. What could I do? What could my part be? I will probably never answer this question, but what I could do is offer an example to prove that no person is small in this world because of their lack of celebrity status. Celebrity status does not equal accomplishment, and it certainly does not define success (in more ways than one).

All of these things are objective: success, celebrity status, happiness. This one thing is not: humanity. It is the one thing that unites us all as one, for no matter how vastly different our backgrounds, cultures, and religions may be, we are all intertwined with the feeling of what is right and wrong, and how others should be treated. We all love, and hate; and we all experience sadness to varying degrees. My mom is one that feels it more than others. She battles depression, and severe manic bi-polar depression. She lives with sadness in her eyes, and she pretends to feel nothing at times, but she can never lie when she feels loved. That is it. That is the one thing that keeps her alive (I argue with myself). My mom is alive because of the need to love and be loved, though she will despair if it is lacking often times more than others. One time when the light seemed to dim, my mother felt the need to end her life. She was not successful, but for the kindness of a passing soul that took the chance to outstretch her hand. You see, arguably by chance as my mother was sitting on a park bench crying, this woman sat next to her and told her that she was not alone. She would be ok. This feeling was only momentary, and relative to the world around us. Of course if you have ever been saddened by personal feelings, then you will know that a simple “there, there” from a stranger will not do anything to convince you that the world is not falling in. Luckily, this woman was not offering simple momentary words that would fade as she walked away. She would take a stand in my mother’s life and offer her friendship. She invited her to lunch. She offered her version of humanity. She became a celebrity in my mother’s eyes as she found her way. She found life in her hands. This little piece of action by one stranger, became the driving force in my mother’s life, and thus affected many more whether directly (with me), or indirectly (with the many more people my mom has yet to meet or affect through others).

I can only hope to achieve such wealth, success, and love. I will try my best not to become the next Britney Spears, or Lindsay Lohan. I will make a difference in someones life; to someones life. I will show the world my version of humanity.