Gossip Girl Star Engaged?
When you have money and success at such an early age what else is there to do but get married, and birth a passel of rich brats? It’s the natural order of such things. We would all be dissapointed otherwise, I am sure.
So who am I talking about? None other than Leighton Meester, the bombshell brunette with a mission. Turns out she is ’secretly’ engaged to longtime beau, actor Sebastian Stan. Who? Google here I come…
P.S. Fooled you with a photo of Penn Badgley, and Blake Lively (thought you would skip the text, eh?)
Earth to Ashlee
Skinny jeans + man = fugly.
Skinny jeans + makeup + man = fugly ^2
Skinny jeans + makeup + man + unwashed hair + lack of style and/or taste = what the hell were you thinking Ashlee Simpson?!?!?!?
Do you have no self respect? Do you not look at yourself in the mirror and see yourself? How can I articulate your stupidity, because really the only way to justify a relationship with this man, is to say that he has one hell of a personality (and that you don’t). Well, I guess I would have rebelled too if I had been raised by the creepy man that you call your father. Enough said.
Christina Aguilera Loves to Bake
Other related news states that she is pregnant! Oh joy! After visiting New York’s Maternal Fetal Medicine Association center yesterday with her husband Jordan Bratman, rumours galore hit the sound waves as the obvious thought came to the mind of most on what the heck those two love birds could possibly be doing there. And what a gift indeed. Can you imagine the problems this future child may have? No, you’re right. Lets not even think about it.
Angelina Jolie Too Good to Be True
Where the hell did this woman come from? She makes all of us normal, just trying to get by in life women look horribly inferior. I really have nothing against her. She’s an amazing person, and becomes even more beautiful after you read her long list of humanitarian work. So my question is this: what the hell happened to change her into the person she is today? 
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Nicole Richie Richer?
And how may that be you ask? Well if my sources are correct (and they might not be), apparently Nicole Richie has a bun in the oven. That’s right. The tiny framed “actress” in her own, new age, publicity makes the celebrity right, may be with child. The actress has denied nothing as of yet even when she was questioned as to her motive for receiving blood and urine screening, as well as other tests. Now for the brain teaser. Who is likely to be the father? Quite the dilemma…
Give Us Strength…
…to overpower the nauseating feeling that comes with the heartfelt and “insightful” feelings that have come over Jessica Simpson as of late. Ugh, is all that my mind can articulate into words. Pray to the heavens for inner strength and power. Jessica Simpson might be developing a brain (I know, it’s unthinkable), or some semblance of one. We thought this day might come, but really were any of us expecting it to actually happen? Hell no! And why, you ask? Once again, John and Jessica have split amid an ever raging sea of rumours. Of course it could all just be that, rumours, but with words like, ” In my life, I ignore my fears too often, but then I’m left with nothing to challenge the best of me. I just remain cowering from my true identity. There is no discovery.” who could possibly deny that these words were NOT spawned from the disintegration of John and Jessica’s relationship?
The Envy of All.
Admit it ladies (and gay men). Even though we all dream of our own Jack sweeping us off of our feet in a love affair that would rock anybody’s boat, the real thing would be quite a sweet deal. I’m guessing that is what Bar Refaeli thinks every morning that she wakes up to her main man. While I do sense a hint of jealousy on my side, I must admit that she is quite beautiful so I say congratulations to you Bar. And good luck, what with Leonardo’s thing for the model type. He might just get sick of you and run off to another equally beautiful model (with any luck).
Fear Not (Our Deepest Fears Have Not Yet Come True)!
Say what you will, but as it is it seems that a certain *cough* Jessica Simpson has voodoo powers over John Mayer. Those are the reports (my reports). Really, what else could it be? What could John possibly see in Jessica? She’s blond, beautiful (by Hollywood standards), has huge breasts, and the dim-witted charm that only belongs with a trophy wife. Yes folks, it must be true love. Unless of course they have not reached a reconciliation, and Jess does seem to be thinning down. Is it all of those lonely nights spent worrying and wondering if her relationship with John was ever meant to be? Only time can tell.
