For the celebrity fanatic and maniac. For the stalker in all of us.

Oh what a shame, if only I had such problems. To be forced into house arrest instead of serving your full sentence due to “medical issues”,  oh dear, why is life so hard?!? To be so unfairly punished. Can you imagine living in the span of your luxury mansion day in and day out, wearing an electronic monitoring program? Why life would be positively harsh. And what you ask could have allowed such a sentence to be passed down? Lets see. A shriveling, scared Paris, begging for her life in the intense conditions of her private cell? Or wait. Could it be that her life was threatened by the below zero temperatures, and her shivering butt caused by a lack of blankets, and no pillow? Or, could it be a nervous breakdown caused by the fact that Paris Hilton has lived a sheltered life, directly turning her into a spoiled rich brat with no sense of right or wrong, unable to deal with her lenient punishment as a result of her celebrity status? So many things to deal with. Well, enjoy the rest of your 40 day house arrest Paris. I hope you’ve learned your lesson.