Britney Spears Has Heart
You can say what you will of Britney Spears and her latest heartfelt sob story on her website, but maybe she really is just a product of her environment. Really, how could you feel anything but sorry for someone so seemingly lost? To always be vying for the headline that will shock and disturb, or make yourself noticed. Who could blame Britney Spears for doing what was expected of her? Face it. What would you pay more attention to? Headlines of Britney leading a normal life, raising her beautiful children, and generally going about her day to day tasks with no drama included, or headlines of a torn, lost, scared girl (trapped in a women’s body), partying it up? There’s no obvious choice, is there?
Rose McGowan a Friend of Plastic Surgery?
This just in! Rose McGowan once was hot, but after years of living within an industry that just isn’t kind towards anyone, she has succumbed to the pressure to please. That’s right, you all know what I am referring to. Just look at these photos and judge for yourself.
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Give Us Strength…
…to overpower the nauseating feeling that comes with the heartfelt and “insightful” feelings that have come over Jessica Simpson as of late. Ugh, is all that my mind can articulate into words. Pray to the heavens for inner strength and power. Jessica Simpson might be developing a brain (I know, it’s unthinkable), or some semblance of one. We thought this day might come, but really were any of us expecting it to actually happen? Hell no! And why, you ask? Once again, John and Jessica have split amid an ever raging sea of rumours. Of course it could all just be that, rumours, but with words like, ” In my life, I ignore my fears too often, but then I’m left with nothing to challenge the best of me. I just remain cowering from my true identity. There is no discovery.” who could possibly deny that these words were NOT spawned from the disintegration of John and Jessica’s relationship?
The Envy of All.
Admit it ladies (and gay men). Even though we all dream of our own Jack sweeping us off of our feet in a love affair that would rock anybody’s boat, the real thing would be quite a sweet deal. I’m guessing that is what Bar Refaeli thinks every morning that she wakes up to her main man. While I do sense a hint of jealousy on my side, I must admit that she is quite beautiful so I say congratulations to you Bar. And good luck, what with Leonardo’s thing for the model type. He might just get sick of you and run off to another equally beautiful model (with any luck).
Fear Not (Our Deepest Fears Have Not Yet Come True)!
Say what you will, but as it is it seems that a certain *cough* Jessica Simpson has voodoo powers over John Mayer. Those are the reports (my reports). Really, what else could it be? What could John possibly see in Jessica? She’s blond, beautiful (by Hollywood standards), has huge breasts, and the dim-witted charm that only belongs with a trophy wife. Yes folks, it must be true love. Unless of course they have not reached a reconciliation, and Jess does seem to be thinning down. Is it all of those lonely nights spent worrying and wondering if her relationship with John was ever meant to be? Only time can tell.
The Skinnier the Better?
This seems to be the message everywhere I look. Well my friends, if being skinny means that I will always be miserable and unhappy because I am restricted to rabbit food, then throw me a bag Doritos. I really don’t mind wearing a size 8 if I am paying the same amount for the extra bit of fabric. But who am I to say that all of the skinny women out there are unhappy? Victoria clearly looks happy sporting her very trendy skin and bones look.
John and Jessica Split Yet Again
While life is fine and dandy for most of Hollywood what with their fake tans and plastic breasts, all is NOT fine with Jessica Simpson and John Mayer. Their love bond that has always been oh so tight, has unraveled in a sea of speculation as they once again have reportedly split. Oh my. I was not expecting this. I mean, they have so much in common. Jessica has, um, talent in advertising her intellectual capacities, including her all around good girl American charm which she seems to spew at every chance she gets. John has an amazing ability to touch the hearts of most with his unique song writing and composing talents. Who would have thought that a dim witted beauty like Jessica would not mesh with the likes of John Mayer? Well at least we do have hope. The rumour is that they break up and reunite at least once a month.
Paris Hilton not ready to embrace the colour orange
Can you blame her, folks? I mean, who would really want to own up to their mistakes and make ammends? And I hear the colour of bright orange does not work on every skin tone. Well, hopefully Mr. Govenor will show some pity on Paris and the rest of the world while he’s at it. Who really would be able to stand another season of the Simple Life: Paris and Nicole get down and dirty in jail. I’m pretty sure that somebody would become the bitch in this situation, and do we really want to know who? Well Paris, if you are half as smart as the marketing machine that you seem to be riding why not flow with it? Add a little bit of your ghetto side to the products you are selling. Hell, you may even be able to throw in a new summer line of very chic jail wear, and maybe even a new overly priced perfume – a little bit of dirty spice that any girl could use in their make-up drawer now and then. But wait, I forgot. You were tricked into signing any papers to legally state that you were aware that you were not allowed to drive as ordered by the courts. Silly me. And here I was thinking that you may have actually illegally driven with a revoked license. Where has my mind gone? Sorry Paris, you really are the victim.
Hell Yeah!
Finally! Praise the heavens and all that Hollywood stands for! It has happened folks. Now when I listen to John Mayer’s tracks I don’t have to close my eyes and imagine that some other amazingly handsome man is singing those words. Now I may actually be wishing that I was Jessica Simpson. Ugh, did I really say that? Well it is a start. John may be entering heart throb territory ladies.
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Menace to society
I’m sure that you all agree with me when I come to the conclusion that just one look at the photo below of Britney Spears making a “come back” is enough to leave anybody with sky rocketing bills due to post traumatic stress. Not to be harsh or anything, but really Britney you shouldn’t have. Have a little dignity for your self and the rest of the world, and think of your sons. If you don’t have it, you shouldn’t flaunt “it”.
